Last year around this time, I wrote about 9 things I no longer want any parts of at age 30. EVERY SINGLE LAST THING on that list is still accurate and has remained very inactive in my life. Since writing that post, many things has happened in my life that has encouraged me to achieve self-fulfillment. I mean, life is so short, so why would I want to deal with any foolishness that doesn’t make me happy or bring out the best in me? With that said, I’ve compiled a new list of five things I no longer want any parts of at age 31.
1. Keeping People in my Life Who Aren’t Truly Here For Me
If you know me, you’d know I have a very small circle of close friends, and that’s intentional. These are people that I actually consider family, and I truly value their existence. Not because we have a damn good time when we get together, but because they support every move I make, motivate me, and inspire me to be better. I’ve learned keeping people around who have shown they aren’t able to grasp this concept will be detrimental to my advancement in life.
So, I’ve simply come to the conclusion that if someone isn’t here for me, disrespect me or my character on any level, or have nothing positive to say about me or my accomplishments due to their own insecurities, will be cut the eff off. No matter who they are.
2. Inconveniencing myself for undeserving people
Just the other day, I was planning to take the Megabus to NYC from Philly instead of Baltimore just so I could save $40. I quickly had to re-evaluate why I thought driving all the way to Philly just to save a little bit of money would benefit me. I then related this to how I tend inconvenience myself just to spare the feelings of those who don’t deserve it, and that shit needs to stop. If someone isn’t going to support or go out of their way for me, why should I do any of these gestures for them?
3. Saying “Yes” to Everything
For as long as I can recall, I’ve been willing to bend over backwards to please others, even if it meant I’d get screwed over in some capacity during the process. This was my way of avoiding conflict because who has time to invite drama in their lives? I also wanted to avoid having someone’s perception of me change for the worse. Now, I’d never do things that would result in me being taken advantage of (my parents raised me better than that), but overtime, I’ve become more aware that I need to put myself, my feelings, and my needs first. At age 31, saying NO isn’t as difficult as it once was. That’s growth.
4. Holding Myself Back
Entrepreneurship is one major thing I’ve been wanting to accomplish in my life, and the reasons it’s never fully became my reality is because of me. I’ve acted on bringing plenty of ideas into fruition over the years that could potentially allow me to live my purpose on my own terms, but I’d slack off. Part of it has to do with me being complacent with the stability of receiving a paycheck biweekly and having full benefits. Another part has to do with me having to worry about everyone else’s needs at home and at work for 10+ hours a day. At this point, I say enough is enough. I have to commit to the grind until I achieve the goals I have for myself, but let me say this, my drive is brewing. Believe that.
5. Letting Self-Doubt Get The Best of Me
Another reason I’ve run from my entrepreneur goals is because there were times I felt I couldn’t really accomplish what I set out to do. I blame that on worrying about what everyone else is doing and neglecting to focus on myself. Saying I’m super confident in my talent at all times was easier said than what was actually true. No matter how many motivational memes I’ve read and internalized, I still felt like I wasn’t good enough at times. Cutting out all of the noise that’s been distracting me have been so helpful in allowing me to be intentional and strategically plan my next moves.
This is first time in a long time I’ve actually made conscious decisions in my life that would solely benefit me. Just re-reading this post (for the sake of editing) has me feeling like, “Damn, I sound selfish as hell!” or “I do feel this way with the exception of certain instances”, but fuck that! Being selfish isn’t always a horrible thing. I don’t always give myself the attention I need, and now I’m changing that. I have to make time for me and what I want to achieve in my life.
Can anyone relate? What are some things you’ve eliminated from your life that wasn’t contributing to your self-fulfillment?